How I learned to love the treadmill

Amplify’d from www.guardian.co.uk

I have found a way to endure a treadmill workout. No, not endure, I've found a way to look forward to my treadmill workouts.

I don't want to exercise. I want to read and to watch movies. Also eat. I like that a lot, too. Oh, and I also really enjoy drinking alcohol, including some high-calorie cocktails. These desires necessitate I have a regular exercise programme or I'm going to slide into an obese alcoholic lethargy that will surely reduce the years I can do what I want to do – which is to eat, drink, watch movies and read.

I own a treadmill. My treadmill goal is simple: burn 500 calories. To do this, I need to be on the treadmill for one hour; 60 eternity-long minutes. And then I have to do it again and again, four or five times a week, every week.

I start walking at a rate of 3.0mph. After three minutes, I increase the speed by 0.1 each minute, so that at 10 minutes I am at a speed of 3.8mph. I also take the incline from 3.0 to 5.0 during that same 10 minutes. I need this type of extended ramp-up, because I have such strong avoidant feelings that it must be easy-peasy to start. I think of myself as a wild animal that has to be coaxed gently into the captivity of the exercise machine. Read more at www.guardian.co.uk